Roksana is currently nineteen, a sophomore attending Chapman University, and diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. She began to start seeing signs of anxiety when she was a sophomore in high school, worsening since then. While she now has resources such as prescribed medication (Citalopram) and therapy, she still sees her anxiety heightening as she becomes deeper into adulthood. Roksana outlines how adulthood presents a "lack of structure" as school caused her to define her self-worth through her academics. On a more positive note, she highlighted the productive aspects of having an anxiety disorder, such as adapting to working underpressure and in hypersituations. Roksana continued her story by explaining how difficult it can be to describe anxiety to those who don't have it or simply cannot understand it. 

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"When I first talked to my parents about going on medication, because at this point it was too much, I was having panic episodes very frequently, I felt I could explain it as best as I could but they did not understand most of what I was saying because I don't think it is possible to understand it unless you've experienced it."

 

Roksana then proceeds to expand on the experience she had with her parents' lack of understanding on her disorder, the background behind why, and how they have improved.

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"It took a few years for them to understand what [an anxiety disorder] is and understand how it is real. They didn't realize something is the matter with [me], that it's constant, it's always, it's never-ending. My parents are specifically from Eastern Europe, they are Polish, and my dad came here in 1989 and my mom came here in 1998. Both came here out of communist, fascist, poverty-striken, and inequality-striken communities. Most of their lives were just about survival and food. My grandpa had manic disorder and borderline personality disorder, but we didn't know about that until he died because he felt like he couldn't survive unless he kept that information a secret and private. Similarly, I don't think my parents wanted me to have a disadvantage in life if they thought that my anxiety disorder was real."

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When Roksana was younger she not only suffered from anxiety, but also body dysmorphia, her anxiety now replacing it despite her disordered eating habits appearing from time to time. Now, the disorders she struggles with is generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, to which she believes the two feed into each other. The habits that tend to result from her anxiety include multiple panic attacks within one setting and breakdowns. Furthermore, her disorder also resulted in inability to relax, always on edge such as during school breaks, and insomnia. After receiving a professional diagnosis and going on medication, this has led to a great improvement with her anxiety disorder. 

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Roksana's main trigger: Being put in a defensive situation

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Roksana's tips she has for those who know someone with an anxiety disorder: 

• When someone is going through a spell, don’t say “did I do something wrong?”

• Give them grace and let them know you’re there for them, just talk it out.

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