Natalie is currently nineteen and a sophomore attending Cuesta College. Natalie has been suffering from depression since the age of thirteen, as well as the hardship of self-harm and a close suicide attempt resulting from the development of this disorder. When looking for the source of the origin of her depression, Natalie pointed it to be from the constant pressure and criticism that comes with being a pastor's daughter. 

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"I always felt like I needed to be perfect, it's very difficult for me to be flawed and accept myself for being flawed. There was never a moment when I wasn't in the spotlight. My dad being a pastor meant that everyone's eyes were always on him, but that also meant they were among my whole family. When you grow up with that it affects your development...a lot of pastors' kids deal with that."

 

With Natalie's depression, it is more active and detrimental at certain times over others. She described how she often suffers from seasonal depression, where she begins to lose a sense of herself in the colder/darker season such as winter and spring as her mind becomes clouded. She also can have depressive states, such as a period when it was only her and her mother living in the household for a month, causing a feeling of isolation. Her brother, sister, and father were away and her mom was at work most of the day, urging Natalie to endure a sense of isolation and ultimately caused her to go into a darker state of depression. 

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While Natalie's parents have been supportive of her mental health disorder, such as helping her find a therapist and getting prescribed medication, she claims that sometimes they just do not understand, despite them making efforts to try to. 

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"In Latin America, we struggle a lot with what mental health means, it doesn't exist where my dad is from. If you say something like that you're gonna get laughed out of town, it just isn't something you can deal with. If I grew up where my mom or my dad were born, and if I were to have the same symptoms and have what I have now, they would tell me to keep that to myself."

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Natalie suffers from both anxiety and depression. She states they work hand in hand, when one gets better so does the other, and vice versa. When she was younger she would constantly tell herself "you’re making it up for attention, stop pretending," her mind constantly attacking her with these thoughts. She didn't realize this anxiety was real until she began to have panic attacks regularly at school and the humiliation made her notice that she needs to stop invalidating herself.  

 

Along with anxiety, Natalie's depression caused a period of disordered eating. At the end of 2019, Natalie fell into a spiral of depression and anxiety to a point where she stopped eating, the most food she consumed was one meal a day. The symptoms following this downfall included lack of energy, constantly tired, shivering, stomach aches, and insomnia. Overall this situation caused her to lose fifteen pounds, so noticeable that even her doctor noticed. It is clear to see in Natalie's case that these mental health disorders can overlap.

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To deal with depression, one of Natalie's coping mechanisms was self-harm as a form of punishing herself. An example she described was cutting her arms, legs, and biting her lips. Medication, specifically Lexipro, has provided a significant benefit to her disorder, allowing her to "look on the bright side." 

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Natalie's main trigger: Being put in a situation that involves her think about the long-term

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Natalie's tips she has for those who know someone with a depression disorder: 

• Listen to the needs of people, leave them alone if they want to be left alone. If they don't want help, help them realize they need help.

• Do not treat someone with depression as someone that needs to be saved. “I'm not someone that needs to be rescued, if I needed to be rescued I would rescue my own damn self."